VANCOUVER – Despite never waking up with the sunrise in his entire life, local 27 year-old Jamie Pasternak believes that he could own and operate a farm if Canadian society ever collapsed into some sort of primitive anarchy.
“I’ve always had a green thumb. When we had to grow beansprouts in grade 4 mine was the biggest,” said Pasternak, who has never shown interest in learning crop rotation, making his own fertilizer, or pickling fruits and vegetables. “I haven’t really had to grow anything since then, but I’ve probably still got the knack.”
Pasternak says he’d also probably be able to tame and yoke beasts of burden, like horses and oxen, even though he knows nothing about breeding, birthing, or milking animals and has never once heard the word “geld” let alone performed the procedure.
Dec 31 2017